30 Days - HAPPY CHALLENGE

Do you know that strange feeling...like need of crying, but you can not... you do not even have exact reason...you are just not happy... When someone is fine and something really bad happens, he or she moves to mood I am in. But I somehow move to deep depressions...I know I am not the only one...everything seems to be too complicated, but in fact it is not... it is just how I see it... how my brain can not understand it is all so easy around... and people around too. Once I am too good.... what is too bad...so they need to bully... then others can not stand my personality...things which I love.. anything..just for being myself... and then other group of people look down at me with thoughts I am no good enough..that I just pretent something...even those I considered to  be my friends.. So I was at neurologist, ..what caused again pretty long list of doctors following, and she said my brain does not receive enough blood, less oxygen at all, what causes my total no concentration, slower thinking, slower reactions, difficulty talking that well as before...I somehow feel stupid more and more and.... people giving me kind of support live really far away..so sometimes it feels like in my fantasy.. at least I know i can get over it and I know anything is impossible, because it is usually just about our thinking...I heard positive thinking heals, so I searched..and found really lots of things from youtube videos to websides where psychologists advice good stuff. I know, that it sounds pointless if you feel this way too...but we could make this challenge together...it sounded ridiculous to me too...but sitting and doing nothing is ridiculous in fact too..The point of the challenge is to write down thirty things you love..whatever you love, it can be good weather, kittens, cupcakes, roses, or someone...but it must be something what you love.Write these thirty down, and repeat next day, with thirty different things, they cannot be repeated, follow the steps for thirty days. Your mind shall focus on better things and will make you feel different way ( I hope so, I am starting today.. and I can tell you after thirty days.. or we can compare). And another good advice was to say every morning five things you are greatful for...and think about it... Maybe it boost good vibes during the day. Are you up to this challenge with me? Let´s be happy :) Here are cupcakes I recently made...might they bring some smile, Good Nightyy, xoxox

Valentine's day

My day started exactly at 00:00 , because I didn't have time for any sleep... You know those overmotivated teachers thinking we are able to do everything like Superman or Batman... So i am Batman today, I just don't sleep, and I dont really feel like that anymore honestly. Well as many people do, I was going through more of social pages and i saw posts looking like : " Who is going to be alone on Valentine? " Last year i had a boyfriend, the Valentine's day was our anniversary day, but I din't really enjoy that day... And even the rest of those days ... Just manipulation at all and i felt like in prison. Are you familiar with that feeling? So i decided to be with my family this year... Not alone... But, that 's not what i wanted to share with you... This valentine is special because i am going to spend part of it with my teddy. Not that one from shops.. More special... More worth and impossible to buy for money.. I just found interesting friend, living miles away from me...total introvert... And I found the magic in the hidden secret garden... Introverts are lovely surprise never recognisable for the first time... Teddy ( lets call the friend like that ) was my support in the worst, was helping me during the hard times and was big sister to me all the time. Teddy helped me to see things in different way that i used to. So I wanted to say that it is totally okay to be "alone" on the Valentine's day and enjoy the freedom we have... We are never absolutely alone...all we need to do is to open our eyes and look around, because some wish they had what we have.. This day was also my worst Valentine's day.. You know I am getting fives from math since the day I changed school and had 4 private teachers for math already.. I have no clue what to do. Today was the shocking day of another unexpected one...so I just cried and even though i was trying to fight with myself it didn't really work... So to all facebook users making those very"funny" pictures , yes i spent my Valentine totally "alone" without sweets, flowers etc. And I am pretty fine already because this day is almost over! And for you, who had similar day like me ....chin up and smile , friday is getting closer and closer :) . I wasn't able to bake my cupcakes ... So I did absolutely normal photo which is not interesting at all and i wear no make up to stare at... Just simple beggy fluffy sweatshirt... Plain one... Just like the whole day and brief smile for tomorrow :) By the way , few days ago I made healthy cupcakes... So i am adding photos of those, because try for unhealthy sweet ones totally failed today, so getting fat starts tomorrow. And how did you enjoy today? Goodnight to all , xoxo